Friday, October 29, 2010

Just had to share!!!!

Oldest to Youngest... :)




I can't help myself! I LOVE Yanas expression, and yes, this is her MAD face! :)

Are these kiddos adorable, or is it that I'm biased? :)

The Small Stuff....

I found this on a Christian blog, written in 2007. I thought it was worth sharing.

The old adage says, “The devil is in the details” and it is so with adoption. Give me a big problem or hurdle, and shockingly, I do just fine (while holding onto God’s hand, that is!). But I do “sweat the small stuff.” Ask me to chase around little details, and then have something go wrong? That’s a recipe for disaster, and the area Satan knows is best if he wants to trip me up … and you know that’s exactly what he wants!

Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8).

Tell me the adoption is being contested, and somehow I actually manage to smile and be civil. I can plan an elaborate one-week stay in a rural local, replete with car-rental, hotel stays, and multiple flight layovers. I can communicate with the credit card company to advise them that there will be unusual activity. I can scour the internet for hours at a time to find the best deals in travel.

But … have the washing machine go all wonky? Have an ant uprising in the entryway? Forget it … I melt like butter on homemade popcorn! Hello, Marie! Satan is paying a house-call!

My mind is completely focused on the big task at hand … so when these “little” issues come, it’s more than my overloaded brain can absorb! So, today’s message (like most of what I write) is for me to sit down and soak in. What to do? Well, I am reminded of a few passages that, if I will allow myself to dwell on them, will help.

It is written: Stay in the word. Study! When Jesus was tempted, His answer to all of Satan’s tricks was, “It is written …” God’s word provides comfort, solace, direction, peace and refuge.

Keep your eyes on Jesus:

Peter said to Him, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” And He said, “Come!” And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:28-31).

When he wasn’t looking at the storm raging around him, and just narrowed his focus on the Lord, Peter was able to walk on water! But, when he took his eyes off of Jesus, and looked at the wind, he became afraid. Which leads us to our next point …

Peace be still: The Jesus who created the world, also controls it:

And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being covered with the waves; but Jesus Himself was asleep. And they came to Him and woke Him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing!” He said to them, “Why are you afraid, you men of little faith?” Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and it became perfectly calm. (Matthew 8:24-26).

I’m struck by many things in this passage, but first and foremost is that the Lord was able to sleep! This indicates a calm mind and trust in God. I’ve been having a hard time shutting my brain off, and just tapping into that inner resource that Jesus had. Secondly, this passage makes me realize that Satan may have a job to do, but ultimately, God controls my life! If I will but listen to Him, I can have that same confidence that allowed the Lord to sleep amidst the raging storm.

I think we underestimate Satan. I hate talking about him or giving him any press, but face it – he’s supernatural and he does try to trip us up. He knows our weaknesses and uses those against us. So, if he knows our weaknesses, it behooves us to always be on the alert. Right now, I know I’m in the danger zone, because I know that little things trip me up, and all I’m dealing with lately, are the little things. Knowing this, I can take the time to read, pray, and meditate on the word. Secondly, and sadly, sometimes I think we underestimate God. Our God made this world just by speaking it into existence! With just a few words, Jesus was able to calm to storm. God is powerful! Our opening verses tell us Satan is on the prowl. But, in closing, let’s look at the key to the victory over him that God gives us in the verses preceding it:

Casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7).

Give it all to God in prayer, and He’ll take care of the “devil in the details.” ----- Marie Stroughter

Monday, October 25, 2010


Just took these this morning. Enjoy!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

It's working!

So I decided believing is at least 1/2 the battle. Yana does not make letter sounds, doesn't babble, nothing but growling, spitting, throat clearing etc. Well I decided she just lost the know how and needed help getting it back.

She loves music. So about a week or so ago I started singing sings with syllables only. Concentrating on the basic baby ones.... Dada, mama, lala, papa, nana or no no, Yana (her name), baba, and tata. Basic songs like "if you're happy and you know it clap you hands", "jingle bells", "twinkle twinkle little star" and so on.

IT IS WORKING!!!! She is starting to make some of these sounds instead of just gutteral sounds!!! She's doing it!! :)

3 1/2 months home.... NO language to the very beginning of language! 7 1/2 years of not having a voice to a future full of her sweet voice! Simply amazing!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Sometimes 100% is the only thing that is acceptable!

Luke 15:1-7

This is the biblical passage that has been on my mind and my heart lately.

Now I realize this story is talking about believers that have wandered away from God, and that it also is addressing the attitudes of the those still following Jesus.

But it also tells me that Jesus desires 100% outcomes. That just one child suffering, one child alone and afraid, one child hungry, one child out of MILLIONS without a family is ONE CHILD TOO MANY!

In the adoption community you hear the debate about what exactly is an "orphan". You hear debate about "levels" of suffering and need. Clearly a child with both parents deceased and living in the harsh conditions of Africa can be seen as in desperate need. And that a child living in the US, in the foster care system, presents a stikingly different picture of need.

Most often in foster care physical and medical needs are being met, so you will rarely see a 10 year old weighing just 25 lbs. You will not see a child ravaged by disease, or unable to walk when all that would be required is a fairly simple procedure here in the US. But you do see a child with emotional scars that would make the knees of most adults I know buckle under the pressure. You do see a child that is a confusing mix of maturity and drastic immaturity. You do see a child that ic crying out in every way imaginable for help, and instead gets thrown around from being one families "problem" to the next, and each placement just makes those scars deeper and more permanent. And what scares me the most, what makes the tears fall, what makes me so mad that I shake with it.... EMOTIONAL TRAUMA IS AN ACCEPTED AND EXPECTED PART OF OUR FOSTER CARE SYSTEM! TRAUMA!!!!

All around us kids are being traumatized under the guise of good will and help! Seriously, these kids are the future of the USA, and the best we have to offer them is not going hungry, needed surgeries and medicines and emotional trauma? Does that seem wrong to anyone else?

But then you have the children in other countries in crowded and underfunded orphanages. They are going hungry, suffering with sickness or medical conditions needing treatment, and they are experience emotional trauma as well!


I doubt very much that Jesus evaluates "levels" of suffering or need. I dont' think God doles out grace based on you needing it more than me or vice versa. It isn't in limited supply.

The fact is need is need. And right now there are millions of children all over the world in GREAT meed. God doesn't expect for us to meet 100% of these needs for 100% of these children.


He has said "GO". Help the "least of these". Be the vessel that reflects Gods love in the world.

147 MILLION or 1!? In the USA, or Africa, China, Europe? Newborn or 19 [or 89 for that matter]?

I doubt very much that God wants to hear excuses. He doesnt' want to debate. He doesn't want to specify levels of need.

He wants hearts stirred to action. He wants us to live boldly because of our love and faith in Him. He wants us to TALK with Him and to LISTEN as He directs our paths.

He doesnt' want our leftovers of time, money, resources, or love. He wants 100% of us.


Right now there is a child alone, suffering, sick, scared, without a family, without a future, crying in silence and wasting away. Jesus cares. Do you?




*** change of topic***

My heart is longing to adopt again! I am so trying to think of other things! But it is an overwhelming desire.

I am praying and waiting on God to turn Johns heart. There are things that need to happen to let us adopt again successfully. At this point it isn't the life John wants. He is wanting our family to be complete. I understand that, really, truly I do.

But telling my heart... well that just isn't working. So I am giving this to God and asking him to fix this situation, to fix the balance and to help create/unify the vision for our marriage and family.

I love my husband, love my children, love my life. My heart and my arms long to be open to whatever child God calls us to to bring home.


Wednesday, October 13, 2010

This Little Light of Mine...

When I look at Yana and see her smile, I see a smile that lights up the world. I see JOY, pure and simple. So much a part of her Creator, that I can't help but smile back.

This little light of mine, in my heart she will forever shine. In the heart of her family, she will forever be a shining light.

She is living her life in the arms of a mommy and daddy, and brothers and sisters, and grandmas, aunts and uncles, and cousins, and friends. She MATTERS, and she is LOVED! She is no longer called orphan, but instead a cherished daughter. What once was a bleak, lonely, and desperately sad future is a part of her past. Her life is now spent in the arms of her family, until our Savior calls her home.

Anne Marie was never anyones shining light. She never got to the part about being a cherished daughter, she never knew the security and protection found in her earthly fathers arms. She died an orphan, without a family, without a future.

Her pain, her suffering, her longing to be held are all a part of her past. She is being lovingly held in the arms of Jesus! Her time on earth was too short. This precious little light of Heaven no longer shines for us to see.

Like Anne Marie, the faces of those without forever families to love them are real. And the sad truth is many of them die without anyones life being changed by their passing. They die just as they lived, ALONE. What is wrong with this world?

So many children are in desperate need of a loving, Christian family. All ages, all countries... they all are in need! Live out your faith! ANSWER THE CALL TO BATTLE!
Here are some links to waiting child listings in the US, and other countries.

Reecse Rainbow

US waiting children

Texas waiting children

US waiting children 2

The agency that helped us bring the girls home!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Ephesians 2: 10 says "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

[This verse] implies that we should step out in bold obedience. The good works he has prepared beforehand—we should walk in them!

What are the things God has prepared for you to do? When did you last reassess God's call on your life? What are those things that God has given you a passion for?

Your courage will rise when you have confidence in the call. *John Piper*

Do you have the courage to reach out to the "least of these"?

He is worth it to God, is he worth it to you?

Do you have confidence in God's call?

Do you have the courage to SEE him? He is blind, he can't see you. Do you see him?


If God has called you, he is with you. Courage doesn't mean that I am not afraid. It means that I fear God more than I fear my environment. It means that I trust in divine resources more than the resources of man.

Philips Brooks: "Don't ask for tasks equal to your powers. Ask for powers equal to your tasks."

Monday, October 4, 2010


Soooo tired of feeling manic! Bonding and attachment suck! I want to feel normal!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Good changes in the air....

There was a time when this sweet little girl did not like the wind blowing in her face or her hair....

Now 3 months home, she loves the sun on her face and the wind in her hair!

And this little one was so hard to get to smile, and did not like looking into the camera or even into faces.....

But she is all smiles and giggles now!

And yes, his "BIG" sisters are teaching him bad habits...

Why must they always stick their tongues out for pictures???? :)