Friday, April 30, 2010

Did you know, I just LOVE being a MOM!???

I do! I always have! IT is what I have always wanted, since I was little.

There was a time not too long ago, prior to our committing to the girls, that I cried out to God to either take this desire to be a MOM again out of my heart forever or to soften my husbands heart. I didn't understand why, over and over again, the world and the people in it kept telling me I had to "get over it", that I couldn't be a "mom with children at home" forever, that there were limits to what a family could look like.

So I prayed, and I asked God "WHY?". "Why give me this heart that never wants to NOT be a mom with children at home as long as I am able?" "I don't want to feel this way, so please just take this burden from my heart!"

Well, God gave me an answer to that prayer! Not the one I was ever expecting. He didn't take the desire away, but He led me to a child that will most likely never live independently. Yana is my forever child. She is the reason for this burden in my heart. She is the reason that God did NOT take away the burden, but that He gently re-directed it. "Here is where you need to be." "Here, with this little girl, is that answer you seek."

I don't know how "proper" it is, but the thought of having Yana with me through adulthood excites me! It leaves me overjoyed! I LOVE being a mom! I don't want to stop! I don't get tired of it! [I do wish for a little privacy every now and then, or for something to be easy... :)]

But when I pray for God to send me the children of my heart... when I say "YES" God and wait to see what He asks of me... when I say "Where, who, when, how many...?" I can say all that w/o hesitation. When the passion in your heart collides with the needs of the world and is biblically sound... YOU KNOW YOU ARE WHERE GOD WANTS YOU TO BE!


For the record, I am a terrible housekeeper, a bad cook, out of shape, bad at organization, a procrastinator, and a terrible money manager among other things .... not exactly good qualities for the position of MOM! And yet, oh how I LOVE being MOM!!! God gets me through the roadblocks, and each morning I thank Him for letting me still be on this earth, still being mom to my 7 beautiful children, soon to be 9!!!

I don't know what the future holds. I don't know if we will adopt again. For me it is an unequivocal YES, but my husband and I are partners, and the needs of Yana and Tavi are yet to be really known. But I pray that where GOD leads us, we will go! And as I have told God... if He sends me children, or sends me to them, I will say YES!

What a blessed mom I am this morning! Thank you Jesus. My heart, created by you and for you... it is full to overflowing!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

How am I holding up?

I really don't know how to explain it. If doubt, despair, anger, and sadness are a huge ball... then that is what is in my chest. However, they are not free to come out or take over because there is a VERY STRONG shield of hope surrounding them and keeping them at bay, pushing back to make the ball smaller and smaller.... sometimes the ball gets bigger, and then the shield fights harder and it gets smaller again.

Does that make any sense?

Psalm 5:11-12
But let all those rejoice who put their trust in You; Let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them; Let those also who love Your name Be joyful in You. For You, O LORD, will bless the righteous; With favor You will surround him as with a shield.

Psalm 18:1-3,28,35
I will love You, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised; So shall I be saved from my enemies.

For You will light my lamp; The LORD my God will enlighten my darkness.You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; Your right hand has held me up, Your gentleness has made me great.

Psalm 27:13-14
I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD.

Psalm 62:1-2
Truly my soul silently waits for God;From Him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be greatly moved.

Does it make more sense now?

The doubt isn't gone, but it is being held at bay by the right hand of God himself!

Thank you Jesus!

Going Backwards A Step

Not good news today. Our dossier is leaving court and going backwards a step. The MOJ messed up our letter with another family. So two unhappy families today. 3 long weeks after leaving this step, back we go. So unecessary, this crazy delay.

But all is not lost! I prayed that our miracle be given to Chrissie (see button on side of blog), and I pray that God has done just that!

Still.... Lots of prayer and lamenting going up to God today.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Still Waiting...

Well, here it is, Wednesday afternoon in Bulgaria and we still have not received our court date. Legally, the judge has 2 weeks after submission to give out a date. That deadline is tomorrow. We will see what tomorrow brings.

It's frustrating because other adoptive families get their date within a couple of days. And typically that date is very shortly after the day it is assigned. But for my friend, Renae, and I.... We are apparently are anything but typical! Darn but for the first time in my life "I WANT TO BE NORMAL!!!!"

Friday, April 23, 2010

Sharing my heart...

So as the day winds down in Bulgaria, there is no news of court for us. :(

It has been a long journey that has yet to have an end in sight. But surprisingly, for today I am doing okay with that. Today, I have surrendered to Him, and He has granted me the peace that "passeth understanding".

This is NOT what I wanted, how I wanted things to go, how I ever thought they would go... this is not what my head would have chosen. But my heart [our hearts :)] chose to follow GOD. And that means trusting Him to lead, and to fully rely on, and to fully rest in the perfectness of HIS WILL.

There has not been ONE SINGLE PART of this journey that went how I expected. Some things were better, some were harder, some things were terrible, and some things left me speechless and basking in the AWESOMENESS and PERFECTION OF GOD ...

Saying "YES" to GOD isn't safe, it isn't comfortable, it doesn't make a whole lot of wordly sense, and it definitely doesn't mean you will know what you are in for! It means that "When you have come to the edge Of all light that you know, and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, FAITH is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or You will be taught to fly."

Oh how I have flown my friends! How wonderful our GOD is! All I have to do is think back to the first time I held Tavi in my arms. Have I shared this? I can't remember.

I was so nervous. I had no "file" for how this would go. My friend, Michelle, sat and prayed with me right before I left the hotel to meet Tavi. Every fear, every doubt, every "concern" that anyone ever felt the need to share with me about this adoption was flashing red in my mind... and for a few minutes I admit I thought "Am I crazy? Can I really be wrong in this? Am I so self absorbed that I can't realistically see my limitations?"

Fast forward, we are at the orphanage waiting in a room for them to bring Tavi in. The head nurse is telling me about Tavis medicals [which were in her referral so no surprises]. I was so nervous I admit I just heard a buzzing sound, even though I knew she and Toni were talking to me. :) I just kept praying in my head "please God, please God, please God..." Not even being sure what it was I was asking...

Then the door opens and in walks my little girl with her curly dark hair, and big brown eyes, dressed all in purple... So unsure of this strange voice. So unsure of why she was in that room. That very second all fear LEFT and the very REAL peace of God washed over me from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.

I can not put into words quite what this was like, but I NEVER wanted that feeling to leave me. At that moment I felt like the luckiest person in the world, and my heart broke for all who may never know what it was like to feel that! Can heaven really be any more perfect than that moment?

As I picked her up and held her close I knew... I FELT HIS HOLY PRESENCE. Jesus WAS THERE my friends!!!! IN THAT ROOM!!!! The tears of JOY that couldn't fall from my eyes were falling from HIS! This was not just a romanticised idea. THIS WAS THE REAL DEAL!!! HE WAS THERE at this reunion of two hearts formed into a family by the compassionate, intricate and specific will of THE HOLY FATHER!

I KNEW I was RIGHT WHERE GOD wanted me to be! I KNEW that nothing would ever separate this little one from her MAMA... from me! I KNEW that this is what happens when you jump and trust God to catch you!

I can not explain what it is like to fall in love with a child you have never met! I can not explain what it is like to love them for a year, trying hard to not fall in love with an "idea" of who they are in your mind... but dreams and hopes continue to build upon the limited information you have.

The first time I held her, I realized I was touching the most priceless creation of God! A child so perfect, a child that HE sent as a blessing to this world. I was so careful. I was in awe. I was afraid to touch her, and yet couldn't help myself. I was amazed that my GOD had led me to this little girl to be her MAMA! ME GOD? How can this be? And yet I knew that it was HIS WILL, and it was so perfect!


I have not handled being separated from my girls with grace. But I have clung tightly to HIS promises, and my faith in HIS MERCY and KINDESS. Having touched a piece of heaven, I can not be whole until I am holding them in my arms again.

Children, ALL children, are such priceless creations of GOD! Oh how we will answer for how we treat them, how we discard, and dismiss them. It breaks my heart that Jesus cries tears of sorrow instead of tears of Joy in the rooms of some of these little ones. HE ALWAYS sees their face, in suffering or in joy!

Take heed that you despise not one of these little ones; for I say to you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven. Matthew 18:10

Tavi and Yana... hold tightly to your savior. HE SEES YOU, HE LOVES YOU! He is bringing mommy back to you! You are coming home sweet girls, YOU ARE COMING HOME!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Be Still and Know...


Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God:

How do you quiet your breaking heart, still your racing mind, and end the desire to DO something while God does what GOD DOES?

Be still and know that I am God – What is its origin?
“Be still and know that I am God!” is the first part of Psalm 46:10. Here, the word still comes from a Hebrew word meaning to “let go” or “release.” The meaning would be best understood to say “cause yourself to become restrained or to let go.” In other words, we need to come to a place where we are willing to submit ourselves to God and acknowledging that He is in sovereign control.

When we realize that we are truly incapable of controlling life, we can surrender our will to God’s will. It may be a matter of finally saying we trust Him. This will open the door so that we may experience the fullness of all God wants and has for us. After all, He is our Creator and has a perfect plan for us when we let Him orchestrate it.

Be still and know that I am God – How can we know it’s God?
“…and know that I am God” denotes recognition, acknowledgement, and answering God. First, we must know that God is God, the one and only Supreme Being who created all the heavens and earth (Genesis 1:1).

We can know Him by having an intimate relationship with Him. That does not come from knowing about Him, but rather getting to personally know Him by what He says (in His Holy Word, the Bible), recognizing the things He does in our lives, and by way of His Holy Spirit who comes to guide and comfort us. In John 14:26, Jesus says “But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, He shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you” (KJV).

When we read the Bible, we will learn to recognize the way God talks to us, the kinds of things He says, and the merciful love He offers.

God is:

* Omniscient – all knowing
* Omnipresent – universal presence at the same time
* Omnipotent – all powerful
* Holy, Faithful, and Sovereign
* Infinite – without measure, forever

Be still and know that I am God – What is the next part of the verse?
“Be still and know that I am God; I will be honored by every nation, I will be honored throughout the world!” The KJV uses the word ‘exalted’ meaning lifted up. Honored means highly valued or glorified. We are being told in this verse that the entire world will someday lift up and glorify the Lord.

Romans 14:11 says, “As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bow to me and every tongue will confess allegiance to God.’” And regarding Christ’s promised return, Revelation 19:16 says: “On His robe and thigh was written this title: KING OF KINGS and LORD OF LORDS.”

Surrender to God - What's the Phrase Really Mean?
Surrender to God - it's a term you may have heard, but what does it mean, exactly? Surrender is not a word often associated with positive actions. After all, "surrender in the name of the law" usually means trouble for someone. And we know that when one side surrenders to another in battle, it's a sign they've given up any hope for victory.

Surrender to God - If I Do That, What Am I Giving Up?
If we surrender to God, what are we giving up? Does it mean, as it does for the enemy in battle, to give up on victory in our lives? Is God holding a gun to our heads and forcing us to give Him everything we have, like a bandit or mugger might do? To be sure, there are those who are willing to portray God in that way, especially where self-gain is involved. But when we come to know the true character and nature of God, we quickly discover how false that image is.

Surrender means to yield ownership, to relinquish control over what we consider ours: our property, our time, our "rights." When we surrender to God, we are simply acknowledging that what we "own" actually belongs to Him. He is the giver of all good things. We are responsible to care for what God has given us, as stewards of His property, but by surrendering to God, we admit that He is ultimately in control of everything, including our present circumstances. Surrendering to God helps us to let go of whatever has been holding us back from God's best for our lives. By surrendering to God, we let go of whatever has kept us from wanting God's ways first.

*taken from HERE

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

"The Tortise and the Hare"

Weeellll, they always say slow and steady wins the race! And if something was ever SLOW and STEADY, this adoption is it!!

We received news about court this morning. And let me tell you, I am NOT surprised. In fact "I think I am going to keel over and die from NOT surprised!". OH, and did I mention "slow and steady"?

We have been assigned a judge [teeny, tiny progress]. As of today we do not have a court date, as according to her secretary she is very busy and so right now there is no idea when court will be. Oh, and no one really knows anything about this judge. [that is the part that is not surprising]

I was praying for a court date in April. I just don't see that happening, which means traveling in May is probably out too. So travel in June? SERIOUSLY?

Right now I want a drug that makes me forget about all of it, and someone can sober me up once I can travel. :( Sorry to continue the saga of "DRAMA QUEEN". Honestly, I am not usually this way!!!!

I do know that God has this! I am thankful for any progress in the right direction, so "Thank you Jesus!", [and Toni for advocating and working so hard for Bulgarias children!]. It's just that the longing in my heart, the split right down the center, continues to grow.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

If I can be a drama queen for just a post or two...

These words pretty much describe where I am at today...


# a state in which all hope is lost or absent;
# abandon hope; give up hope; lose heart;
# the feeling that everything is wrong and nothing will turn out well;


# Depression is a state of low mood and aversion to activity
# gloomy: filled with melancholy and despondency


# consider unlikely or have doubts
# the state of being unsure of something
# uncertainty about the truth or factuality or existence of something


# demoralized: made less hopeful or enthusiastic
# deprived of courage or hope; take away hope from


# full of sorrow
# Feeling depressed, despondent, or hopeless, especially over losing a love

and all because these little girls below are an ocean away!


Monday, April 19, 2010

Still waiting....

14 months since we committed. 3 months since I last held my babies. Not to beat a dead horse, but sheesh... this is SOOO hard. :(

I am grieving, and yet I can't quite grieve because there is hope, and God will see them home to us! But I watch the videos and I still think "Are they real?".

I dreamed about them last night. They flew home unescorted, dropped off at my house by fed ex [which is how all my paperwork was sent to Bulgaria]. Upon arriving here I decided we should celebrate with sloppy joes sandwiches from the bowling alley. So I took the 2 girls and went to get the sandwiches. [For the record, I HATE sloppy joes, and the bowling alley? Come on!]

After that the dream remained really strange, but I WAS SPENDING TIME with them! My heart was rejoicing. I fought so hard not to wake up... I rarely do that. And I was SO SAD, that I got teary eyed when I woke and they were not with me.

I need them home. They need to be home. I need this journey to be over...

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Teeny Weeny progress... but it's good.

Okay, so now we are officially IN COURT. Next week we should find out who our judge will be [please God, make it a good one!], and when our court date should be [please God, make is very soon!].

What makes this such a big deal is that in Bulgaria, birth parents can revoke their consent for adoption at any time up until the case is in court. Our's is "in court" now, so that is no longer a worry! Praise God!!!!

I am praying for a whirlwind of a turn around... meaning, court is so soon that Toni "almost" freaks out! [Love you Toni! ;)]

God is moving steadily in this adoption. Our bible study last night was on patience and perseverence. Think He was trying to give me a message? He likes to talk to me like that... and He does have a great sense of humor. ;)

*** In talking with Toni, we are still looking at the end of May for travel at the earliest. Oh how I hate that my idea of what would be the best [easiest, and quickest] isn't what God apparently wants. I know, I know... reasons, reasons, working in me, end results, timing, etc., etc....! But as someone commented at our bible study last night "that's a Sunday school answer". And the painful truth is... this sucks. :(

Never, NEVER did I think for even one second that this adoption would take so long. I am so thankful, and feeling blessed, that I didn't know! I couldn't have done it if I had known!

But ... if I appear a bit depressed for the next month or so... please understand it isn't my faith that is in question, but my heart is just feeling sad and broken. And there is just not anything anyone can do about it.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The problem is we are past all my lucky numbers!

I could hardly believe it once I added it all up. Since the day we officially committed to adopt Yana and Tavi it has been 421 days!!!

It occurred to me, I have not waited this long for anything I really wanted before!!! James's adoption took almost 2 years, but he was living with us during that time! Lucas's adoption, from the start of the homestudy, took just under 421 days. I was engaged AND married within 4 months for Pete's sake!

One might call me a tad spoiled. I prefer the words "highly motivated self starter"! ;)

I am praying that we have less than 1 month until we can travel. Even if it is a bit longer, the fact is it won't be 421 days! So since I have survived that, I do believe I will survive waiting the rest of the way.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Do you see what I see?

Oh gosh... my heart is heavy today. I have been thinking a lot about my girls... this is nothing new ;). BUT today especially, little Tavi is on my heart.

Now those of you who have had the pleasure of watching her videos know that she is unaware that she has "special needs". :) Yet I know that once out of the orphanage, the world will make sure that she knows it. And I can't help but wonder, how will this affect her?

If her daddy and I have anything to say about it, not to mention her brothers and sisters... it won't affect her negatively at all. Just ask my mom and dad, and they will tell you that one of my least favorite phrases is "You can't do that!"... ha, ha... "JUST WATCH ME!" How I pray that we can pass this "attitude" on to Tavi John!

Have you ever wondered what it is like to be placed at birth into a severely sensory deprived environment, only to have it compounded by the fact that you are lacking ONE OF THE MAIN SENSES??? The fact that ANY of these little ones who are blind survive attests to their strength and maybe more so to the compassion and grace of God! How can we let them "fight to survive", only to have them lose in the end?

I was looking through Reeces Rainbow today and there are currently 11 children listed who are blind, and 3 listed with vision impairments. 1 of these little ones listed has Down syndrome, and a couple of others have other special needs as well. But most of them do not have OTHER special needs, just the fact that they are blind seals their fate of living out their life in an institution.

If I remember rightly, in the last 3 years only 1 child with blindess, and one with limited site has been adopted from RR. My Tavi will make number 3. SERIOUSLY??? How can being blind have such a stigma attached to it? I know that many families are looking to be matched with a child with minor or correctable special needs... if not just a completely healthy child.

I will tell you this... Tavi IS completely healthy!!! So she is blind. BIG DEAL. She will be able to have a job, get married, raise children, and live independently as an adult. She will most likely rebel in her teenage years, as most teenagers do. And she will bring an immense amount of JOY to her father and I as we are blessed to be her parents as she grows to adulthood! It is my prayer that she will be a MIGHTY WARRIOR of GOD and a blessing to her husband and children.

You know, neither John nor I have known an individual who was blind. Were we intimidated at first with the idea of adopting a child who was blind? Yes... and then again NO. God called us to be her parents, and that was good enough for us. To be able to be the one to help open up her world... words can not describe how I feel about that. Let me just say my mind won't stop thinking of things I want her to experience... the biggest of which is the unconditional love of a family and what it means to be a Princess of The King!

Today, I see 14 children listed on Reeces Rainbow under the age of 5! Today, I see 14 children who will most likely pass away before ever knowing the unconditional love of a family. Today, I see 14 children born blind, not good enough to be someones son or daughter. And today, I see 14 children, who desperately need someone brave enough to say "YES, SEND ME LORD!" They are children first, they are human beings, they are so darned full of potential!!!

***These children are all in Ukraine, Bulgaria, or Russia! Please contact me if you want more information. kelly9mayden "at" yahoo "dot" com. Or visit the Reeces Rainbow link above. :)

Monday, April 12, 2010

A Room With a Vision....

Knowledge w/o vision is pointless. These pictures are of a room for 2 little girls. I know that, anyone seeing the room can see that.

Now, I also know, because I have faith in a GREAT BIG WARRIOR GOD, that it will soon be filled with 2 specific girls. Yana and Tavi will sleep in this room, and they will be a part of our family forever! GOD IS BRINGING THEM HOME!

Faith is hope in things unseen! I don't see them here yet, but I WILL. I have that vision because I have a God bigger than all the roadblocks, and delays this world can throw at us!

Here is there room, finally done [with the exception of installing the shades... I am so challeneged at home decor! :)]

Yana's crib.... I can't wait till it is filled with my precious sleeping girl!

Tavi's bed, be still my heart... I can just picture her sleeping contentedly!

Look at all the clothes just waiting to be worn... compliments of Aunt Erin, Aunt Julie and "Aunt" Meadow. :) And a few new things mommy just HAD to buy! :)

When I finally figure out how, there will be navy blue roman shades on each window. I have them waiting, just not sure how to install them. :)

Sunday, April 11, 2010

BarlowGirl and My Girls! :)

Riley, Cale, and Quincy were blessed to be able to attend a concert for Barlow Girl, Vota, and Stellar Kart... ie "The Love And War Tour".

All 3 had a fantastic time, and Quincy declared "I LOVE CONCERTS! I can't wait to go to another one!"... oh dear! What are we in for? LOL

Here is an adorable pic of Riley and Quincy with BarlowGirl ... Cale refused to be photographed. ;)

Friday, April 9, 2010

One more step completed!!!!!

Praising God!!!!!!! The minister has signed our dossier!!!! Woo-Hoo!!!!!!

What does this mean? It means that we are officially awaiting a court date!! We should receive a date within the next 2 weeks.

Specific Prayer Requests [not only for me, but for my friend Renae as well!]:

1. That we receive our court date quickly!
2. That our court date is very soon!
3. That we are assigned an adoption friendly judge, and that all our
paperwork meets with his/her approval!

I have been really struggling with waiting. I just want my girls home. A reality check has happened. I won't be traveling in April. So, being the "optimist" I am, I am praying to be there by Mother's Day which is May 9th!

My worry is that we won't travel until the end of May. The last day of school here is May 21st. I really wanted to be home for a week or two at least before school was out, just to give the girls a little more of a less chaotic settling period.

PLUS it makes Johns job so much easier to have the oldest 6 in school! And the later we get in May and into summer the busier John gets! His days go from 7:00 am to 6:00 pm [or 8:00 pm] to 7:00 am to 10:00 pm.

AND baseball starts up in late May with games starting in June. I have 3 kids playing, and 3 different teams due to age... and with John so busy in the summer the running back and forth falls to me.... so the later in May the harder things get!

I know God is in control, I just don't want to lose my self-control! I really, really want them home soon, and I really, really want them home by early May!

IF God does not step in and move things along under His power, we will not have the girls home with us until late May, or even LATER!

I love the last few days of school, and the day school is out. I fight all year to get to this point! :) I don't want to miss it. It just makes me crazy to think that it will take until the end of May.

Bless Toni [our Bulgarian adoption coordinator], and pray for her. She is so awesome and is doing all she can as fast as she can do it! BUT no one else in the process seems to want to MOVE... just piddle here and there.... AARRGGHH!

I think I like Russia's system of bribery better... I think I could totally sell all I own just to pay someone off to get my girls home yesterday.

Stick with me peoples! Our girls will be home yet! Just a little longer... Just half of forever.... :(


Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Praising God.... so many coming home!

There are so many children listed on Reeces Rainbow who are coming home or are home in the last few weeks! This is so awesome!!!! I am so happy for them!!!!

But my girls are still a ways from being in my arms.... so tired of waiting God. I need you today.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Did you know...

Did you know that I am still praying we get to travel to bring the girls home in April? Yes it is HIGHLY unlikely, and next to impossible. I figure that is just how God likes it. :)

So, yes, I am still praying for April. I am even refusing to do a couple of things that fall in the end of April because I am choosing to have faith that God will answer my specific prayer.

I have told a few people that it will most likely be the end of May, or later. But since then have rethought things, and continue to pray for April. :) What's a little thing like red tape, and time lines to our Mighty God?

I figure each shot God makes is "nothing but net", He's not shooting in the dark, so HE can and will bring them home! And since Mothers Day is on May 9th, I just have to be home by then!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Counting the days....

Around the orphanages in Ukraine and Bulgaria are colored fences. To adoptive parents, they seem like jail bars. The kids rarely, if ever get to leave the grounds of the baby houses unless it is to go to another orphanage, or the hospital.

I was looking at the blogs of families that have brought or are bringing their little ones home and it is always a HUGE celebration to go out that gate for the LAST TIME!

What will Yana and Tavi think when it is their day to walk through the gate? Will they understand any of what is happening? How tightly will they hold on to the life they had that offered them very, very little? How scared will they be to see all the good things that are coming there way? Will they even really believe it will last?

I want this day for them to be here so badly, I can taste it! Carrying them through that gate, with the angels of God tearfully, joyfully, celebrating, will be one of the greatest days of my life!

I pray that God is preparing their hearts for the changes that are coming their way! Both of these girls have proven to be fighters, and I pray they will be ready to embrace us as their forever family. It may take time, but healing will come to them both! Jesus, and angels, were there when I first met them, unseen but very present. I believe they stayed behind to keep them safe during this LONG wait!

Mommy is coming soon Yana and Tavi. I am doing everything I can, the main thing being to hold tight to Jesus! God is on our side!