Thursday, May 28, 2009

A Large Family and the sacrifices it takes....

My questions are:

1. "Do you think that expecting your kids to be part of a large family is fair, when having a large family means sacrificing lots of fun things that other families get to do or have such as big vacations, the latest technology, having your own cell phone, your own computer, your own room, newer clothes, more toys or more of your own toys, more one on one time with mom and dad and so on.... Do you think it is fair?

2. "Do you think it increases their potential to be caring, compassionate, and productive adults?"

3. "How much influence should your children be given about the size of your family? Whether through adoption or your biological children, where should you or do you draw the line? "

Please feel free to comment. Not in a hurtful way, mind you, but in a respectful and honest way. And I am not knocking any SMALLER size families out there! Just wanting your take on big ones. :)


  1. !. Do you think it's fair to have only one sibling, who grow up and then lives 1/2 way across the country from you? Do you think it's fair to expect only one or two children to take care of their aging parents? Do you think it's fair to be raised so that you feel entitled to everything and know nothing about waiting your turn, working for what you want, or working together as a team? Do you think it's fair? (NOT putting down small families - just giving the opposite take.) My point is, it is a rare child that thinks their family is "fair."

    2. Absolutely! Half of mine are now legal adults and they are all caring, compassionate and productive adults with hearts after the Lord.

    3. I think the older children should have some say in the decision, but that's just what works for us. Because older children will likely be very involved in the raising of their younger siblings, I think it's important that they feel they have some say. Matt and Andrew could not handle another sibling at this point in time. As much as Anna would like to have a younger sister, I don't think that will happen any time soon (unless God clearly says otherwise).

  2. 1. Yes, it is fine. I don't think that we should aim for "fair" anyhow--the world isn't fair. None of the things you listed really are of any importance spiritually.

    2. Yes, if the parents do a decent job. It's not just size of family that counts....there is a study that indicates that individuals who have a sibling with special needs are more caring and compassionate. They tend to go into medical fields and teaching more often.

    3. I think older children in the home (teens) who are going to be affected by new sibling(s) should be participating in some sort of dialogue with parents about the change in the family. They are going to be "co-parents" as well as siblings and their input should be respected and heard.

    (This from a smaller sized family)