You know, thinking of the journey to the adoption of the girls today it occurred to me how easy it would be to just walk away. Say forget it, go on with my life. No extra paper work, no headaches of what to do when, no questions of money, or an undefinable future, no need to be nice and let the glory of God shine through in every answer or response no matter how nasty the comment, etc. etc....
And then it occurred to me... this adoption journey to the girls is much like my journey to God and His adoption of me as His very own daughter. At any given moment how much easier would it be for God to just say forget it? To just go on with His life? No extra work, no headaches of what I will do when, no questions of how I will blow my money on the wrong things, no undefinable future for me, no need to be nice and let His glory shine upon my face time and time again as I mess up over and over, no need to keep His face before me no matter how nasty of comment I may make, etc. etc....
If I am worth all that, if I am worth fighting for, even after having what has been a pretty posh life... how can I turn my back on the "fight" for my girls! They are just babies that have never had even 1/10th of what I have been blessed to grow up with!
It warms my heart to think of all the ways God has fought for me. Some I have been aware of, others I am sure I will never know of.... And He loves Yana and Shawnee just like that too! He is "fighting for the girls", all I have to so is follow!
So while I see the "easy" road, I will not take it. I won't take it because I love these little angels I have never met except in my heart. I won't take it because Jesus wouldn't take it. I won't take it because I have been blessed with a desire to have a heart like His! I won't take it because He has called me to this, and if He calls me to it, He will see me through it!
I am sitting here with aching arms and an aching heart tonight. I am wanting my girls home and in my arms. I never understood how a mothers arms could ache for the child God has placed in her heart, I still don't understand it. But I know it really happens, that others that have had a child an ocean away understand it. And while it hurts, and makes me sad, I am so glad for it... My Heavenly Father is allowing me to see that I am their mother! And they need to come home.
So to make a long story short: "If God is with me, who can be against me?" :)