Monday, March 8, 2010

Joy Cometh...

Has it really only been 47 days since I kissed both my little girls good-bye? It seems like it has been a lifetime. Or maybe it was in another life in which I held them close? Was it only in my dreams? The best of dreams....

I have noticed I am writing events on my calendar for April and May. They don't seem that far away... so why does the homecoming of the other half of my heart seem infinitely out of my reach?

I spent 45 minutes on the phone this morning, ON HOLD, waiting to talk with a person at the National Visa Center [NVC]. I found out our case is STILL there, and that it could be sent off today. But to find that out I will have to call back later!

I know we are just steps away from having them home. But those steps are giant, and each one seems to take so LONG!

Each month, each week, each day, each hour, every minute, every second that we are apart is breaking my heart.... I know, I KNOW, this is part of adoption, and esp. international adoption. I KNOW THAT, I just can't make my heart understand!

At the park, at the mall, at dinner time, at bath time, at bedtime, at the doctors, at my kids school, at the VETS for goodness sake... I think of them, and what they would be thinking or doing if they were with me. Sometimes I think this is what a truly crazy person feels like.

I can still smell them, feel them, see them, hear them.... I just can't touch them. And it just really, really sucks. And it hurts. And I don't like it much at all.

I keep telling myself that...

"...weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." [Psalms 30:5

I keep lifting my heart up to God. Praying that He makes it whole.

The best advice I can give to an adoptive parent, well any parent really, is to "GET RIGHT WITH GOD! Cause if you don't, you are never, NEVER going to make it through till morning!"



**take a look at my adorable niece in her custom made outfit!**
Ella Ruth


  1. Since we're wallowing, can I join you????? Still have not heard if our "letter" to the embassy was accepted...don't have a clue what's going on...I HATE not knowing...and I REEEEAALLLLY HATE WAITING!!!! Keep calling(they need you to fight for them)...and keep praying...we'll get there, one way or the other!:)

  2. You are so not alone, dear friend.

    Having one of those day here too :(

  3. One day..... one day this will be over. One day we will be celebrating at Gods hand in this! Still choosing to praise Him for who he is no matter what the circumstances and trusting him to bring our little G home.