Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Nothing. nothing and more of nothing...

There will not be any signatures this week. We do have 1 signature down, the lawyer for the MOJ, but the minister that needs to sign is out of office till after Easter. Seems as if the work ethic of government workers is universal. :( That may not sound very nice, but I am not feeling very nice right now. I am sure she has a life too, and even a good reason for being off this week... but all I can think of is my girls right now.

Praying that she comes back to work refreshed, and highly motivated and signs our papers quickly!

God knows me so well. He knows that if I had known how this journey would go, and the frustrations, upsets, and "ulcers" [not literally, by the grace of GOD!][ that would come with it I would have walked away before ever committing! THANK YOU JESUS for knowing what I DIDN"T need to know! Thank you for handling it. Thank you for placing such a burning passion in my heart for you and an enormous amount of love in my heart for these girls that I couldn't quit, no matter the struggles!

Not having the girls here hurts!! So much more than I EVER thought it would! That isn't said to discourage anyone from taking this journey themselves, but let's be real here. Nothing about this process has been easy, and NOTHING about it was done apart from the will of my Father in Heaven! He is the central driving force! He is the keeper of my heart! He is helping me with the wait, because honestly I just don't have anything left!

The words of a song are ringing very true lately, and though the whole song isn't fitting into my feelings, the chorus rings out so accurately.

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home


God WILL bring them home. And all I can do is hold onto Him!

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While I wait, I am praying for Adeye, the Burman family, Shonette and AnnaKae, little Jaxon who is now home with his mommy :), Jodi and Hunter, Tracy, Shelley, Renae, Valerie, Alinas family, Jean and her girls coming home soon, Anna and little G, all the families adopting from Bulgaria, and so MANY more!!!! Each child that comes home makes my heart overflow with joy!

5 comments:

  1. Ugghh! All I've found out is that we don't have a court date yet...but should be very soon...which tells me nothing. I'm glad we're in this together!:)

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  2. Ugh...so sorry the holiday will add more time to the wait. I've thought many times what you have about being glad you didn't know a few things. If I knew then what I know now, there might have been a few decisions I might have ran from....what I would have missed if I had! Thankful that God often shields us from knowledge that might lead us to say "no" when "yes" is so much better!!!

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  3. Praying with you!!! It will be soon, but never soon enough!

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  4. I have been wondering how you have been doing. I'm sorry to check in and see the sad news. You WILL make it through this with our Heavenly Father. You will be sitting at home one day with your girls WITH YOU and you will realize... "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil 4:14 (NKJV)

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  5. Waiting is no fun! It sounds like we are both not good at it:)
    Praying that you get the signature you need first thing next week!

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