Friday, April 10, 2009

2 Samuel 10: 12 ... Yes Lord! I am listening!!!!

"Be strong. We must fight bravely... the Lord will do what He thinks is right."

I had prayed so hard, so faithfully, so fervently: "Lord I need an answer!! Is pursuing international adoption, let alone the adoption of 2 special needs girls right or wrong? What is your will for my life, what do you want me to do? If I get a "green light" from you in a very obvious message I will go! I haven't gotten a "NO", but Lord I am not hearing a "YES" from you either, yet I feel an urge to MOVE!"

Well, I never received my "YES" in a booming voice from God. But over and over in His word I got confirmation of His heart for the orphan, the needy, the suffering. James 1:27, 1 John 3:16-22, James 2:14-17... plus many more.

I have struggled one day with great doubt and the next day I would be so at peace with the decision to pursue the adoption of my girls that I know God had calmed my fears. Lately, more peace than doubt has been in my heart. Praise the Lord!!

So tonight I am reading John Pipers book.. "Don't Waste Your Life" [thank you Keno family blog for bringing the book to my attention :)!] Anyway, I am reading a chapter on risking all for the glory of Jesus and our love for Him. Basically it said that at times we will have no idea of the outcome and God did not specifically say to us "go this way or that way", so we make the choice we feel is in line with Gods Word/teachings and we give the outcome over to Him totally saying with all our heart "May the Lord do what He thinks is right."

Thank you Heavenly Father for giving me these words from Your Word. Thank you for my answer! ... AMEN!

Friends and loved ones, I do NOT have the faintest idea how this is going to work, or what the final outcome will be. I want to bring these girls home with all my heart. And yet I also can faithfully and peacefully, through the Holy Spirit dwelling in me, say that the Lord will do what He thinks is right. And that gives me such a sense of peace. I am willing to risk the unknowns so Gods glory can shine in the completion of these girls as part of my family, or in the heartbreak of having to let them go. I am fully committed to them, but as with all adoptions, esp. international there are MANY unknowns and many risks!

The Lord be praised!

8 comments:

  1. Praise God for your willingness to follow the Lord.
    Joy

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  2. John Piper's book have helped me and our family understand some deep, biblical truths as well. I will be praying for you to know in your knower and to stay the course despite the worldly circumstances. I journal and that helps me when the questions arise in my spirit.. all I have to do is go read my journal to steady my spirit.

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  3. I am so very proud of you, Kelly - proud to know you BEFORE this calling - proud to know you through your calling to become L's mom - proud to know you prayed for us and were there for me throughout the two+ years we pursued Alex and Anna's adoption - proud to have you as my sister in Christ! I am so stinkin' excited for you and for all your family!

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  4. thank you Beth! ...

    And thanks Joy and Jeane... The RR family is so caring, I am glad to "know" you both.

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  5. I love John Piper and will have to read that book...your little girls are precious. I added their button to my blog. I hope you get to bring them home soon! Happy Easter!

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  6. Wonderful book!!! We have four children- one with Spina Bifida and hydrocephalus and are hoping to adopt a Reeces Rainbow child this year!

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  7. thank you Rachel!

    How exciting gypsy!!!! Do you have your eye on a certain country, or are you already matched. I try to not go back through the waiting children. There are just so many that pull at me, and truthfully I would take them all in if I could. But I find my heart drawn most strongly to Bulgaria, and the children there. The thought that at some point I will go get my girls [God willing], and be so close to these children, yet not be able to do anything for them breaks my heart. :( I want to hold them, tell them about their heavenly father who loves them and cares for them, find a family for each of them.... I have a feeling my emotions will not be on an even keel ever again. Though some might say that they never were! ;)

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  8. What a wonderful post, Kelly! I've had my moments of doubt too...but in the end God's peace engolfs me and I gladly lie in it with a big ol'smile spread across my face. He didn't have these little one's tug on your heart strings for nothing...They too are serving His purpose :) What an awesomely uplifting post~Thank you! :)

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