One year... that is 365 missed good mornings, 365 missed good nights, 365 missed I love you's, 365 missed "you're wonderful's", and more.
I know they have a life time ahead of everything they have missed so far. But my heart breaks for the years they have missed having the love of family!
When I went into this, I never thought it would take over a year! In fact, I was geared towards 9 months. Ha, wishful thinking!
Still, I truly, truly believe that Gods timing is specific, His plans are specific, His reasons are specific, and though I will most likely never know why this process has had to take so long... I completely trust in Him!
Not having them home weighs heavy on my heart. This adoption has been a journey of emotional highs and lows in the extreme.
But looking back, seeing God's hand in each step, seeing HIS heart in each step... I would do it all again! Once you have seen God working so clearly, leading you down HIS paths, it is hard to want to let that go. You just want to relieve the moments over and over.... I hold them close to my heart. They are my moments with God, a gift from Him.
In my bible reading I found the verse Psalm 25:4:
4. Show me your paths, and teach me to follow;
I have been praying that this week. You will see miracles along His paths my friends. Miracles that create memories that you want to store up in your heart, in your photo album of God and yourself. And you will flip through it during the storms of life, you will flip through it when you pray, you will flip through it and your JOY in the Lord will abound!
I have missed 365 days of being a mama to my girls, but I have gained 365 days of relying and trusting in God. I have gained 365 days of growing ever closer to Him. Life is good.