How am I holding up?

I really don't know how to explain it. If doubt, despair, anger, and sadness are a huge ball... then that is what is in my chest. However, they are not free to come out or take over because there is a VERY STRONG shield of hope surrounding them and keeping them at bay, pushing back to make the ball smaller and smaller.... sometimes the ball gets bigger, and then the shield fights harder and it gets smaller again.

Does that make any sense?

Psalm 5:11-12
But let all those rejoice who put their trust in You; Let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them; Let those also who love Your name Be joyful in You. For You, O LORD, will bless the righteous; With favor You will surround him as with a shield.


Psalm 18:1-3,28,35
I will love You, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised; So shall I be saved from my enemies.

For You will light my lamp; The LORD my God will enlighten my darkness.You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; Your right hand has held me up, Your gentleness has made me great.

Psalm 27:13-14
I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD.

Psalm 62:1-2
Truly my soul silently waits for God;From Him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be greatly moved.

Does it make more sense now?

The doubt isn't gone, but it is being held at bay by the right hand of God himself!

Thank you Jesus!