Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Ups and Downs...

Today was an emotional day. I am missing my husband and my kids. I am tired because I don't sleep real well away from home, and I am getting very sad about leaving the girls behind for 4 months [or longer].

We continue to visit Tavi in the morning. This visit was definitely an UP! I know I have said it in every post, but she truly is AMAZING!!! Remember all the strikes against this little girl, and yet... she is flourishing! She walks forward and backwards, very fast or very slow. She walks by herself very confidently feeling her way. She plays and interacts like a perfectly normally raised little girl. Today she amazed us even further. She was singing little songs to me. AND she was speaking the english words we said. VERY CLEAR ENGLISH. Some of what she said was "Where's Slavka? There she is!", "Hi Michele", "Slavkas Mama", "Scoot", "Jingle, jingle" and more. Her caretakers say she repeats everything they say... even telling the kids to be quiet or go to sleep. LOL

We got fantastic videos of her... but that will have to wait till I get home as I can't get how to download them.

Tavi John Mayden

The visit with Yana was a down, though the up part was that I did get to visit this sweet baby girl! And regardless of what else is going on... she will always be a bright light in my life. Yana was very disconnected today. I think she only knew I was there a couple of quick times. She did kiss me, but I think it was more like licking my face to learn about me like she does a toy. You can say eeewww, bt only if you haven't been the parent of child so sweet that she makes your heart beat faster just thinking about her!

She was very edgy today, and showed many institutional behaviors. She twitches, has this very strange lizard tongue thing she does, she makes a throaty/snot clearing noise, and she is OBSESSED with twirling anything she can, her favorite of which is my hoodie strings... first one way than the other.

I also think there is a good possibility that she has effects of FAS on top of the Down syndrome.

She did make some noises today, but calling them vowel or consanant sounds would be a stretch.

All these things together do NOT concern me, I love her so much. But they do break my heart. :( It was all I could do to NOT CRY until I got back to the hotel. I would have felt so bad crying in front of Tonis brother.... he is such a sweetheart and he has spent enough time in the company of the 3 of us he probably would have quit! :) The thought of leaving the girls continues to make me so sad... but the thought of leaving Yana in this state of existing in this silent inner world of hers was almost too much. She needs her mama to bring her home! Please GOD, I am begging, don't let her wait to long!!!!

I am needing some prayers of strength and fortitude! I am needing my sweet husband to hold me.

Here is my other sweetie for you to ooh and ahh over since I know you already did it to Tavie pics! LOL


  1. We are lifting you up in prayer and will continue to do so. Remember, this is probably much more activity than little Yana is used to! I am very confident she will flourish in her new home...and we must trust that God will hold her until then.

    PS: Aidan can't stop talking about these girls!

  2. PPS: Do you have a better idea of their size? I am starting to get some of Ella's clothes together for you. I have 3T and 4T for all seasons.

  3. 3T, I don't think much 4t will fit, but maybe soon... I can see Yana growing fast. She is thicker than Tavi. :)

  4. Praying for you on your emotional rollercoaster.

  5. Praying for strength & comfort for you!!!!! Praying for time to go quickly until you get to bring them home!!!

  6. Kelly, Your such a wonderful mom! Your observations of your little lady are great & will be one of the things that lets her blossom more. My Isaac's been home for almost 6 months now, & still not a word except for Mama..usually comes out more like "MAAAA!!!" :) He hums with his throat and all the sound is there. We're working with a speech therepist trying to get him to realize his voice can come up, but so far~nothing :( Soon though :) The other part to remember is that she's gonna act younger~Isaac's a really high functioning little guy, so is Eli, but their both still far behind a typical 3 or 4 year old. & typical of DS is being disconected sometimes~more like in their own world I should say. While in Ukraine Isaac didn't start to really interact with us until about the 4th day. The other part? Your another woman in this little girls life..among the many she's had care for her. She'll learn your different in time...your special~your mama! :D Isaac didn't really warm up to me until he'd been home for about 2 1/2 to 3 months...once he accepted I wasn't going anywhere & I was the only women caring for him he ate up the affection & today can't get enough :) Your Yana is a sweetie!! And again, she looks great in your arms :) Praying for the time to go smoothly for your aching heart. ((Hugs sweetie))

  7. Hugs and prayers! You sound tired and homesick. I well remember the homesick, I had it bad in Ukraine. Yana sounds a lot like Mattea. Hang in there and try to get some rest. We are all praying for you and the girls and the rest of your family.

  8. Oh my friend--I read your post thinking..."soon it will be me--dealing with all the ups and downs." I know how hard it is--especially being in a foreign land with no hubby with you. Just being away from home is emotionally draining enough.

    Dear friend--those children are going to be like little sponges when they get home. They are going to soak up everything! You know it's true--family changes EVERYTHING!!!

    Hang in there and try not to become discouraged. Before you know it you will be back there to take them home FOR GOOD. I'm trusting God for lightning-speed paperwork.

    I'm sending you all my love and a huge hug tonight. Praying that God will fill you with the everything to need to get through these next few days.

  9. oh thank you! I needed this! You guys are so good to me! It helps, really! I have a video of Yana from days 1 and 2, I watched it last night... totally different girl. I felt better knowing I was't imagining things.

    Love you guys....