You know in looking at alot of my blog friends posts, they just seem to hvae the nicest family and have everything together and have a really nice clean and decorative home! Now, I am guessing this isn't true... that their life is not always peachy and that they are not always happy and don't always have it together,and that their home may be in need of some major repairs ..
The fact is, being a good adoptive family for a child does not require all the things that the world deems imperative. And I think it is to the devils delight if we focus on these things and they make us not reach out to a child in need, for we feel unworthy!
Some examples from my own life:
1. All the bedrooms in my house need painted, or wall paper torn down, or closets, or new carpet... none of them have matching curtains or bedspreads, none of them have a light fixture, none of them have "pottery barn kids" decor. But my kids like their rooms anyway.
2. I have 7 kids. As a whole they DO NOT get along great. They each have someone they get along with better than others. But if you want brutal honesty, they fight, ALOT. They love each other too, but sometimes it is easy to forget that for all the arguing and competitiveness that goes on! My oldest son, well he doesnt' seem to like anyone right now. That is the honest truth. I am praying for him.
3. We do not have savings. We have some assets. We have some credit card debt. Much more than we wish we did, but not so much I can't sleep at night.
4. We yell at our kids, sometimes for not much reason. Sometimes, we wish they would just be quiet and go away. :) But we love them to pieces, and we feel we are doing the best we can and hope they see it that way too once they are grown.
5. There is more dirt than grass in our yard. We hide all the crud in our yard in our garage when company comes.
6. I don't do craft projects with the kids. I should, but I don't.
7. I have to nag them to do chores. They do them, but they gripe the whole time.
There is nothing wrong with having or doing any of these things. I just want some of those questioning adoption to realize that a perfect life, house, family etc. is not a requirement for being able to provide a child with a loving, supportive, christian home! We are all a work in progress. Dont' let what you don't have or can't provide be the deciding factor all on its own! :)
Thanks for this post.:) I smiled in agreement as I read what you wrote, because it sounds a lot like my house.
ReplyDeleteAmy
Ha--you are totally writing about me and MY house :) Oh my word--when did you come over and witness what it is like here????
ReplyDeleteLove it!
I came across your blog from Adeye's - and I can totally relate. We are on adoption number 2 from China and in the middle of our home study. Our 2nd bathroom has been torn down -we are suposed to be renovating it - I can't even mention all they other projects that need to happen, but we would sooner put our money towards adoption. Some people do not understand, but that's Ok we're willing to go without to fllow God's calling. Thank you fo r being real - sometimes when I read other peoles blogs there lives and families sem so perfect - and I wonder why mine seems so crazy :) It's good to know there are other real peole out there :).
ReplyDeleteOh... I definitely have a "lived in" house!
ReplyDeleteOh so true! I wrote a blog post on this exact subject last year. Trying to keep it real ya know. ;0) Here it is so you can see the 'real' us and not our blog face. LOL http://buildingtheblocks.blogspot.com/2008/06/behind-scenes.html
ReplyDeleteI came to you via a place called simplicity!
ReplyDeleteI have really been struggling lately with the idea of screwing up more kids!! I have felt we are to adopt for quite a long time and things are falling into place but now I'm feeling that we are too loud and gripey and whiney and messy to be a good adoptive family. Thank you for putting that into perspective! Sheri
Glad I could help! Someday I may post pictures of my reality after teh adoption is final and our SW can't change her mind. :)
ReplyDeleteAmy said in her blog post: "It’s kind of like when you step into church on Sunday- like you are really going to admit you were just screaming at your husband in the car on the drive there to anyone. Nope, you are going to plaster that smile on your face, walk in that door and act like you’ve got it all together"
ReplyDeleteToo funny and too true!
Do you know sometimes my kids refuse to close the car door because they know that is when the YELLING at them will start! Brats! ;)